ASPCCA COMMERCIAL AIRS TONIGHT IN WASHINGTON DC!

Our friends at CRACK in Washington, DC are airing a special video tonight at their show at Town Danceboutique in Washington, DC. Doors at 8pm!

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Tired Starfish

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This little star fish is tired. The salt stains him and the rolling, pounding onslaught of waves, rocks and sand just doesn’t suit his disposition. Will you be the one to dry this starfish out?

Pride-less Parrot

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This sad little guy has never had any friends. Except for a brief MDMA-induced trip to Seychelles, he’spent the majority of his ceramic existence perched atop this ceramic stump in Capitol Hill, Denver waiting for his owners to turn off the stereo long enough to remember what life was like before the never-ending deep house music began. Will you the one that brings his sing back?

Ugly Like a Wolf

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This poor wolf used to have a beautiful coat of grey and silver paint. He felt as real as any ceramic wolf can. And then he was adopted from local thrift store by suburban house wife who realized her true passion in life was ceramic animal repainting. Over thirty ceramic animals were rescued from the woman’s compound before she was exterminated, including this little guy. Will you be the one to help him get his howl back?

Diabetes Kitty

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This kitty needs love. Lots and lots of love. It also needs insulin twice a day and can’t manage giving the shots to itself with hard ceramic paws, not to mention the issue of opposable thumbs. But you can help. Keep this kitty of dialysis. Will you be the one who cares enough to lengthen this porcelain purrmonster’s shelf life?

Poodles Say, “Help Us!”

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These poor poodles used to have a loving family.  Jim and Tim were such good dads.  But after both men lost difficult battles with Hepatitis C, these perky poodles are without a home.  Won’t you sign your name to assist these pooches?  Just enough ink to commit is all they need.

People At School Called Him E-laugh-ant

ImageThis poor little pachyderm earned the nickname “E-laugh-ant” at school because all the other “real” animals picked on him for his hard outer shell, static google-y eyes, chipping pink paint job, disproportionately small trunk and “made by a first grader” whimsy.  All he ever wanted was a friend, someone to laugh with and not be laughed at.  But you can crack a joke with him, without cracking his moderately spherical body.  Look into those eyes and try to say no.

Colby Needs Turtle

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The A.S.P.C.C.A. can count numerous celebrity endorsements with all our intricately crafted ceramic paws, including Celine Dion, Martha Stewart, Beyonce, Beyonce’s Ceramic Kitten and Erin Brockavich.  A.S.P.C.C.A celebrity porn star spokesperson, Colby Keller rescued this tiny turtle and gave it a loving home.  He says of the turtle, “I’m inspired to be more social because I love my turtle and he NEVER goes back into his shell.”  Loving ceramic animals can make you a better person too.  Won’t you please help?

A Gecko Without Assurance

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This little guy may look tough, but on the inside he’s crying really sad tears.  Unlike other Geckos, he’s got no insurance company banking his extravagant lifestyle, and no assurance that some kind-hearted person like you will give him a safe and happy home.  Be the one to make a difference. 

 

Neutered Unicorn

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This sad unicorn is all alone. He’s lost his horn and his way. So tired he can only sit from now until the unicorn apocalypse, won’t you be the one to take him in?

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